2018 has been a year of Perseverance and Transition.
After hitting bottom, which can be translated as burning out, over 3 years ago, I had hopes that 2018 would be the end of the stop/start format of the previous years as I tried to heal and create a new lifestyle. Despite all my efforts, well…
2018 started with a concussion and a broken ankle… this was not an auspicious start.
During the first 6 months of the year, I did start working as an office temp. I did learn to ride my scooter. On the business end, I did shift my business from live theatre with a plan to teach … what, I wasn’t sure of. I had numerous ideas, all interesting, created plans which quickly revealed their limitations and at times were noticeably dead-ends.
But… why is there always a but… the healing component was slower.
At these times, my life was like quicksand. According to Wikipedia, due to the density of quicksand, movement may be impaired… slow movement will enable an individual to remove themselves from quicksand, (this is due to water displacing the sand through pressure), sinking is impossible unless movement is panicky. If panicky movement is continued it could trap a person and under adverse conditions, they could lose their life.
The myth of falling into quicksand and dying, according to Wikipedia, is unrealistic and an exaggerated ploy of the film industry.[i]
That being said, the more slowly I moved through the healing aspect over 2018, the lest apt I was to sink through the foundation I was building. There were times, sudden spurts of enthusiasm or worse, trying to fulfill other’s expectations, I would sink… then, I would have to re-evaluate, and find tools to rebuild my foundation.
At the time, I equated slowness with nothing changing, yet in hindsight a great deal changed.
For over the last quarter of 2018, I transitioned my focus on healing, and found the subject I would teach, Burn Out’, my focus, ‘Recovery’.